Bereavement care

Many of you will realise that most of the articles I write here, in my It’s All In The Planning blog, are concerned with various aspects of financial planning – be it investment planning (while you are still alive) or estate planning (usually undertaken some time after you are dead) or something else.

I’ve never written anything about bereavement planning which as the name implies, is planning for the time when you are soon dead!

But anyhow, bereavement planning is becoming more acceptable in society today. While it’s usually the duty of the surviving spouse or the children to plan for the funeral rites only when the time comes around for them, I’ve known of people who actually sign up for bereavement care products while they are still alive.

Kudos to them! They are not the superstitious type. And people nowadays are getting less superstitious. Maybe, it’s the recognition that sooner or later, one has to go. And if one has to go, why not plan to go in style and spare your distressed family members the need to make such decisions when they are most vulnerable and may not be in a position to make them?

There are various types of bereavement planning packages in the market today that are customisable to your every needs. They can be simple or elaborate. They cater to every taste but they do not usually come cheap. I know you can still get cheap funeral services but if you want the bells and whistles to go with the gongs and cymbals, then the bereavement care companies are the ones to use. After all, they are the professionals in this business.

Just this evening, I’ve come away from a wake. A friend’s father had passed away three days ago and the family was having an impressive send-off for the old man. There was the rite known as the kong teik, full of singing, pleading and play-acting. I don’t understand any of it but I was very curious to see a cello at the kong teik and stayed behind to watch some of it. Well, a fellow actually played it! The soft, mournful sound of the cello added to the rite.

The funeral wake was well catered. The bereavement care company had seen to everything. For a five-day, four-night wake culminating in the funeral itself, the bill was set at RM32,000. As usual, the catafalque took central place in the house, well decorated and surrounded by floral wreaths and baskets from friends of the family and my friend’s business associates. Within the compound was all the paraphernalia for the kong teik ceremony. Outside the house hung rows upon rows of cloth tributes from various societies and associations.

For the guests and relatives, food was richly served. Hot coffee any which way you want it “Starbucks-style” or whatever, Chinese nyonya kueh, even the ubiquitous yew char kueh was available, fried beehoon, Penang hokkien mee and a whole roast pork. The butcher was nearby, slicing up the meat and serving them to the guests. For all these, the RM32,000 was well spent.

I asked for a name card from the bereavement care company and was impressed by the services (satisfaction guaranteed, so they proudly claimed) they offered:

  • Choice of wooden casket, and they specialise in air-conditioned ones;
  • Funeral arrangement for all religions (to be expected);
  • Choice of mourning clothes – either Western-styled suits or the traditional Chinese ones;
  • Authorisation from embassies and high commissions if you require the import or export of the deceased remains;
  • Arrangements for cremation and the storage of cremated ashes:
  • Qualified embalming and make-up service;
  • Outdoor tent service, provision of transportation (buses) to ferry mourners during funerals and an accompanying band; and
  • Ordering of flowers and wreaths.

So you see, that’s how far professional bereavement care planning has progressed in this country. It’s a big business and for these bereavement care companies, it is a serious business because if you can afford it, they will make sure it will be well worth your money spent. My friend, for all his sadness and grief, felt that it was a befitting send-off for his father.

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